BATTLE OF HASTINGS 1066

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So turning around to his cohorts
He lifted his big Norman voice
And said, "Hands up who's coming to England?"
That were swank 'cos they hadn't no choice.

They left their own shore about tea time
The sea was so calm and so still
And at a quarter to ten the next morning
They arrived at a place called Bexhill.




King Harold came up when they landed
His face full of venom and hate
He said, "If tha's come fer't Regatta
Tha's got here just six weeks too late."

Dook William rose, cool but haughty
He said, "'Ere lets have none of tha' cheek
Tha'd best get tha' throne reupholstered
I'll be wanting to use it next week.


When Harold heard this 'ere defiance
With rage he turned purple and blue
And he muttered some rude words in Saxon
To which William answered, "And you!"







'Twere a beautiful day for a battle
The Normans set off with a will
And when both sides were duly assembled
They tossed fer't top of the hill.

King Harold he won the advantage
On the hilltop he took up his stand
With his cads and his knaves all round him
On his horse with his hawk in his hand.





Normans had t' best line of forwards
Well armed with both buckle and sword
But Saxons had t' best combinations
And when half time came neither had scored.

So Bill called his cohorts together
And said, "Lets pretend that we're beat
We'll get Saxons down on the level
And cut off their means of retreat."

So they ran, and the Saxons ran after
Just exactly as William had planned
Leaving Harold alone on the hilltop
On his horse with his hawk in his hand.

When William saw what had happened
A bow and an arrer he drew
and went right up to Harold and shot him
He were off side, but what could they do?





Well, when't battle were all over bar't shouting
They found Harold so stately and grand
Sitting there with his eye full of arrer
On his horse, with his hawk in his hand.

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here's a video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cGR47GJgxU

Poem by Marriott Edgar


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http://www.lhi.org.uk/projects_directory/

"The Battle of Hastings" by Marriott Edgar
Location: Essex
This poem amused all of us at King Harold Day, although it should be read out loud with the appropriate accent to get the full benefit!

It is by Marriott Edgar, whose poems are well known, especially the one about Alfred and the Lion.